Alcoholics Anonymous, What Exactly Are The 12 Steps? Step 4

Alcoholics Anonymous, Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Using the tree metaphor, this is like looking at the tree and pruning and cutting off the dead branches. This is where we start the healing process.

When an alcoholic or addict thinks about something they "can't believe they have done", they drink or use to cope with the depression and guilt associated with remorse. We need to get past the remorse of what we have done in the past.

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves".

This doesn't say "make a list of all the bad things you have done" it says make a moral inventory. Unfortunately, as we make a list of what we have done, we alcoholics and addicts tend to have a lot more bad then good.

The term "searching" is important because it doesn't allow you to simply ponder for a few minutes or hours and come up with your list. You have to actually search your recollection, you need to dig deep, deep down into those things that you have buried in the far reaches of your mind.

I believe the term "fearless" to be important on several different levels. Ultimately, you need to have faith that this is part of a healing process and not a hurting process. "You can live in fear or you can live in faith, but you can't live in both".

It is hard, when you are making an honest effort to better your life and become a better person, to look back at the horrible things that you have done. But this is necessary if we alcoholics want to continue the healing process. It is important to recognize the nature of our wrongs and accept that they were bad choices we made when we were drinking or using. We need to be able to accept that all we have done, good or bad, has led us to where we are now.

As a recovering alcoholic, we do not want to regret the terrible things we have done in the past, we just don't want to repeat them. We need to learn from them.